


One Last Night

by dragons_and_angels



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Consensual Infidelity, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Pre-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-28 04:43:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12598408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragons_and_angels/pseuds/dragons_and_angels
Summary: Sirius had one last night where James Potter was his. James disagrees.





	One Last Night

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much to my beta for all her help with this, to the mods for organising this and being so understanding of the delay and to the person who prompted this! I always want to write more Sirius Black/James Potter so this was great fun.

There wasn't a lot of places to escape from the wedding frenzy that had gripped pretty much every single person Sirius knew and liked but the roof was always a reliable place to go and be alone. Locking the door ensured privacy from Muggles; unfortunately it didn’t do the same for his fellow witches and wizards.

The door slammed behind him, interrupting the stillness of the night, and Sirius tensed. He recognised those footsteps. "So, this is where you come to hang out, huh, Padfoot." James sounded far too amused for Sirius' taste. It was irrational, his best friend had every right to be happy considering he was getting married tomorrow, but he resented James for sounding so cheerful when Sirius felt like shit.

It took him a moment to make sure his expression was controlled into a pleasant, if not completely happy, expression before turning around. "Well, there was only so much talk about flowers that a man can stand."

The street lamps and stars didn’t give off enough light for Sirius to be able to make out James' expression and the city lights reflecting off James' glasses made it ten times worse. The lines of his face were completely familiar and Sirius felt his breath catch as he thought about how tomorrow would be the end of an era. There would be no more James and Sirius, together against the world. James would belong to Lily and that would be it. They would have end up having kids, a Quidditch team if James was to be trusted, and Sirius would be the fun uncle who came around and teased Lily and drank firewhiskey with James and never anything more. He could do it, he would have to do it if he still wanted to be in James' life, but he needed a night to mourn what he was losing.

"Considering they were talking about the wedding feast when you left, somehow I think that's not it," James said, in the same light, casual tone as before. Sirius couldn't help but wince. He should have known James would have noticed him leaving, no matter how stealthy he had thought he had been. James moved away from the door and came closer, close enough to touch if Sirius wanted.

And Sirius really wanted.

"It was just a lot going on and I felt like I needed to get away." Sirius shrugged and hoped James would accept the excuse. Sirius never minded spending time around people if it was just the four Marauders, but he wasn’t feeling his best and adding Lily and her friends, half of which weren’t in the Order, and he felt himself becoming more and more on edge.

"Padfoot." Now James sounded serious. He ducked his head so Sirius could now see his eyes behind his glasses. "What's going on?"

"You know what it is, Prongs," Sirius said softly, barely loud enough for James to hear. "I'm happy for you, I am, but I just need some time."

"Time for what?" James asked, seeming honestly oblivious and Sirius laughed, even as the hurt swelled up inside of him.

"Just time. I'll be okay tomorrow, I promise. I'm your best man after all."

"Sirius, nothing is going to change between us," James said, coming a tiny step closer. Now he was near enough for Sirius to be able to smell the faint aroma of broomstick polish and wood smoke which James always smelled of.

"You are getting married, Prongs," Sirius said slowly. He wasn't sure what James was talking about but there was always the unspoken agreement between them whatever they were would stop if James got married. Sirius wasn't naive enough to make plans for his own wedding, he was pretty sure it was James or no one for him.

James stared at him for a few moments more and Sirius shivered, although he couldn't tell whether it was from James' gaze or the cold autumn air. "Come with me," James said abruptly, turning around and heading towards the roof door, but not before grabbing Sirius' hand and ensuring that there was no chance of Sirius apparating away. He was weak when it came to James. "What you don't seem to understand," James said as he led Sirius down the stairs towards his and Lily's flat, "is that I do actually talk to my fiancée. And considering how important you are to me, you have come up more than a few times." Sirius felt a spike of irritation at James’ tone but curiosity won out.

The flat was empty of people now, plates washing themselves in the sink one by one and pictures of flowers and food and the church stacking into a neat pile in the corner. "Lily!" James called. "I found Sirius!"

"Great, darling," Lily shouted back from the spare room. "Hi, Sirius."

"Hi?" Sirius called back, now confused and getting even more so when Lily didn't come out of the room. Instead music started to waft through the closed door. He didn't know what to think but he had a creeping sense of horrified realisation. If James talked to Lily about Sirius, that means she knew what Sirius felt about James. It would be far more easily recognisable to someone else in love with James than James himself.

"Don't worry, Sirius," James said, the small smile on his face saying he could read Sirius' thought processes merely from the expression on his face. Sirius thought he hid it better than that, a side effect of growing up with his family, but James had always been adept at reading him. "Lily had her hen party last night so tonight she is perming her hair, putting some kind of gunk on her face and not thinking about the war, all of which she is doing without leaving our guest room. Her words."

Sirius thought he should leave but doing what he should do had never been a strength of his. He should have broken this thing off with James as soon as he got serious with Lily but he couldn't. "I don't understand." And it was killing him.

James' eyes softened and he moved so they were as close as they had been on the roof. "Sirius, listen to me, okay. Lily knows about us. She knows how I feel about you and how I feel about her. I should have told you sooner but..." James broke off to grimace, seemingly at his past actions. "She knows that asking me to choose between the two of you would be asking me to choose which of my legs to cut off. She was actually a lot more okay with than I thought she would be, said she had half-suspected for a while."

Sirius' head was a mess, his emotions all over the place. James didn't rush him, simply let him sort his thoughts out into something more coherent. He felt so angry at James for not telling him this a year ago when he and Lily got engaged but at the same time so relieved that James felt something similar to what Sirius felt every day. Part of him wanted to storm out so he could think about what had just been revealed to him and part of him wanted to pull James down on the sofa and reaffirm everything.

"I thought last Saturday was our last night," Sirius said, unable to think of anything more neutral to say. Guilt twisted James' face and helped to alleviate some of Sirius' anger. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I should have, I know I should have, but I didn't want anything to change and I was worried that talking about it, making it that serious, would have scared you off."

The anger was back. "So you let me suffer for over a year? I thought you were choosing her over me." He had thought what they had had been nothing to James, a distraction until something real came along.

"No, Sirius, of course not." James reached out but pulled his hands back at the last second, as if he thought Sirius wouldn't welcome the touch. This show of consideration just made Sirius angrier.

It was easy enough to push James against the wall dividing the kitchen and the sitting room and move into his space and move closer so not even a piece of paper could separate them now. James' body was as familiar as his own. "As if I could stand to lose you," James murmured, quiet and heartbreaking, before Sirius silenced him with a kiss. James didn't try to fight, he just let Sirius swoop in and take whatever he needed until he had to pull back, panting, his anger spent.

James smiled and it was as if something settled inside of Sirius. This was where he was meant to be.

He didn't protest as he was led to the main bedroom. There was signs of Lily everywhere in the room: the twisted perfume bottle on the chest of drawers, the stack of books on the bedside table, the Muggle football poster on the back of the door which Lily had put up instead of James' Magpies poster after she won a bet against him. Before tonight, the signs would have made Sirius' skin prickle as if Lily was watching him and James and he would make any excuses to make sure they went back to his place instead. Now, with the music drifting from the spare room, all he felt was a sense of calm.

"It seems like I have some things to apologise for," James said, closing the bedroom door behind him. Sirius opened his mouth to protest this, instinctive even if he didn't really believe it, but James kissed him before he got the chance, hands covering the sides of Sirius' neck as he cradled his face. Sirius reached up to grip James' waist but the dynamic had changed, all Sirius could do was sit and take whatever James gave him. He fought the feeling for a second before relaxing and trusting James in this.

James pulled back and removed his outer robe, throwing it halfway across the room, uncaring of where it landed. His gaze was hot and intense, leaving Sirius shuddering without being touched. Everything felt more somehow, than it had before. He felt like he was fifteen again and looking up at his best friend the first time James had made a move on him. The same mixture of exhilaration and nerves were racing him through him now and Sirius felt his usual relaxed manner slowly get ripped apart.

"Sirius, robes off," James said. His voice was quiet, almost soft - a command disguised as a request. Sirius felt like he was looking down on his body as he started to unbutton the fancy dress robes he had worn today - armour against the reality of his best friend leaving him behind the next day. It had felt necessary in order to keep his sanity but right now he felt like he was suffocating underneath the stiff, uncomfortable robes. He took a breath as soon as they were off, standing there in his underwear, already feeling lighter. James gave him an approving smile and Sirius actually blushed. He couldn't remember the last time he had done so but the embarrassing gesture was well worth it when James looked delighted and reached for Sirius, robes only half off, pulling him closer until the fabric of James' under robe brushed against Sirius' bare chest.

"James," Sirius murmured, pushing back so the folds of fabric brushed against his nipples. James' scent was all he could smell and he had to close his eyes just so he could enjoy everything about this moment. The thought of what he had almost lost made him swallow compulsively and he buried his face in the crook of James' neck and shoulder, willing himself not to cry.

"Hey, Sirius, I'm here," James said, his hands smoothing up Sirius' back in a warm, soothing motion. Almost against his will, Sirius found himself relaxing and he wished James wasn't so good at knowing exactly what he needed. "I don't think I can apologise enough for making you think I would leave you. Sometimes I forget that you can't read my mind," James added wryly and Sirius felt his mouth twist in agreement. James did things, he didn't talk about them. It was one of his best and most annoying traits.

Sirius drew himself up, drawing his composure towards him like a shield. James' mouth quirked into a frown when Sirius looked him in the eye and Sirius found himself smiling faintly. Maybe they couldn't read each other's minds but sometimes they got damned close. "James..."

"Don't do that, Sirius," James fortunately interrupted him because Sirius had no idea how he was going to finish that sentence. "I messed up but I want to make things right. Will you let me make things right?"

Sirius bit his lip as he wavered. Whenever he remembered how he had felt this past year, watching James and Lily together, making the one part of his life which was supposed to be good painful and hard to bear, he felt the anger rise up inside of him. He would lose a friend to the war and when he went to James, hoping to be comforted, he would find Lily there first and feel more alone than before. Awkwardness and pain had infected what once was so good and it all could have been solved if James hadn't assumed that Sirius would be able to know what he meant.

 _You always have known before_ , a small part of his mind whispered to him. Maybe this time it was because he was so close to the matter and that was why he hadn't been able to see what was going through James' mind.

He could retreat now, say to James that he needed time to come to terms with what had happened. He could put his robes back on and leave the flat, go back to his own place and come to the wedding tomorrow, dressed up and ready to be best man. James would be understanding of it, if not okay, and Lily would probably be the same. But wouldn't that be doing the same thing Sirius had worried about this past year? Yes, it would be him doing the rejecting and he would be saving himself from further pain, but he would still lose James as he was now.

They were in the middle of a war. It was only last month where James and Lily had faced Voldemort directly and had barely escaped. Sirius could take some time to figure it all out but what would he do if he lost James in the middle of that thinking it through?

As he was thinking, James started to look more and more freaked out. He reached out for Sirius, his hands spreading over Sirius' shoulders and making it very hard to think. "I haven't ruined this - have I?"

"I'm mad at you for not telling me," Sirius said quietly. He took a tiny step closer, feeling cold enough to want James' body heat. "But I don't want to be apart from you." James leaned forward until their foreheads were pressed together. Sirius let his eyes slide closed and let himself enjoy being the centre of James' undivided attention.

"You are so important to me, Sirius. Before I proposed to Lily, I sat her down to talk about you. It turned out she already knew a lot more than I had realised." James chuckled but it sounded watery and a little forced. "I couldn't choose between the two of you and I know that's not fair, to either of you, but I feel the same about you both." He sounded tortured, completely unlike the light, happy tone of their earlier conversation.

Sirius opened his eyes and pulled back from James, just a little, in order to be able to focus on his face. "James, I'm not going to make you choose." Sirius didn't know whether it was because he would be scared about who James would choose or worry about how miserable it would make James even if he did end up choosing Sirius in the end. "I've already been sharing you with Lily for a year, I just want to make sure that you tell me what's in your head sometimes. I'm good at the mind-reading, but not that good." He tried for a smirk, though it felt like a faint imitation of what it normally was.

"I think between you and Lily, I'll be talking about my feelings all the time," James said, jokingly. He was starting to sound more like his normal self and when Sirius smiled, it felt far more natural on his face.

"We'll whip you into shape, Prongs." It felt surreal to be joking about it, to be looking as Lily and him as the same, when for months he had been seeing Lily as the legitimate girlfriend and himself as the dirty little secret. He shivered, noticing the temperature in the room and James noticed.

"Come on, into bed." James quickly stripped out of his robes and put his wand next to Sirius' on the bedside table, but not before casting a quick warming charm on the room. It worked, thankfully, without anything being set on fire, like James’ previous attempts at the charm. James seemed to read Sirius' smirk accurately and rolled his eyes. "Oh, shut up." He dumped his glasses next to their wands and a second later, there was warm, half-naked James pressed against him in bed.

Everything got very slow after that as James started to kiss him. It was a long, drawn out kiss, leaving Sirius panting at the end of it despite James keeping the pace slow throughout. Sirius stretched, arching his back so he was pressed against James. Everything felt more real than it had in the past year. For months, he had felt a bit distant from everything as if he was watching down on it sometimes from the ceiling. The war, the tension that thrummed through the crowds whenever Sirius had gone out into Wizarding spaces and the undercurrents that had been running through his group of friends had made it hard to relax, to feel like he was still a part of the world. Sometimes he had wandered out into the Muggle world, if only to spend time with people who didn't have to worry about being on the front line of a war, and he had even thought about running away, but he always returned. There was no chance of him abandoning his friends, no matter what fantasies he cooked up in his head.

"You're here," Sirius muttered, a little nonsensical, but James seemed to understand and gripped him tighter. The feel of skin on skin was enough to make Sirius shudder as he pressed his mouth onto James' as if he could meld into him completely.

James rolled Sirius onto his back and pushed himself on top so Sirius was pinned underneath the weight of James, skin and muscle and warmth pressing him down into the mattress and he had to gasp as James pulled back from the kiss. After all the serious talk and rehashing the last year, everything felt heightened. As if the good was so much better after all the crap he had to go through to get here.

"Merlin, I want you so much," James muttered as he started to kiss Sirius' neck. He always talked during sex and it delighted Sirius. He squirmed and shivered as James worked him over, loving attention being paid to the most sensitive places. His eyes were open, he was sure of it but he wasn't seeing anything, his whole attention concentrated on what James was doing and what he was going to do next.

Sirius licked his lips and, as if the action had been a signal, James pulled himself up to kiss Sirius on the lips again, faster than before and claiming, as if he was reinforcing his assertion of Sirius being his, to both of them. James pulled himself up, detaching himself despite Sirius' incoherent protest, and looked down on him for one long moment. His eyes were darker than normal and intense, looking down on Sirius as if there was nothing else he wanted in the world, and that, combined with the swollen lips and flushed cheeks, made Sirius thrust his hips up, desperate to get some friction even if their pants were in the way.

"Hang on," James said after he managed to break eye contact somehow. He groped for the bedside table and grabbed his wand. The vanishing charm was the only one Sirius recognised before he was distracted by skin against skin - friction where he wanted it the most. "Sirius," James half-laughed out his name. "You have to be patient." His hands stilled Sirius' hips and Sirius couldn't help but let out a complaining whine, sounding more like Padfoot in that instant than any other. James laughed again, but it sounded delighted and slightly shocked, as if he couldn't believe this was happening.

After lots of fun and not-so-fun experimentation in Hogwarts, Sirius and James had found several lubrication spells but they weren't nearly as fun for Sirius as James using his fingers and so, when James' hand felt slick against his hip, Sirius bent his right leg, allowing James access.

"That never gets old," James said as he threw back the duvet, exposing Sirius to the cool air and to the light of the candle on the bedside table. "Before I met you, I didn't think men could be beautiful."

Sirius felt his face grow hot. It wasn't just the words, though they were devastating enough, it was the way James said it, casual, as if this was a well-known fact.

"It's true," James continued after he glanced up at Sirius' face and the disbelief that must be scrawled across there. "You look like some fancy painting that would lure people in, only for them to be disappointed when they couldn't touch." One hand spread over Sirius' stomach and one curled around his cock - he couldn't look otherwise he would lose it before it had even started. "I love seeing your face when we're laughing together or when I had just done something surprising but, most of all, I love seeing your face like this."

Sirius couldn't not look at this and when he did, James was looking back at him. Sirius didn't cry, even when the Potters, the closest thing he had to real parents, had died, but right now he felt his eyes burn at the look on James' face. He had to get a hold of a pensieve, just so he could watch this memory over and over again.

"I love you," James finished and Sirius had to pull him down to hide his face in the side of James' head. All that hair had to be good for something. There was no complaint from James, no inquires about whether he was crying or not, just gentle kisses to whatever part of Sirius he could reach and soothing strokes with his hands.

Sirius focused on the faint music coming from the guest room as he took several deep breaths, willing himself to calm down. It was hard, because he would remember how he got into this state in the first place, and it would start all over again. James had never said the words before. He had talked about how much Sirius meant to him, how important he was, how much he loved parts of him, but he had never said he loved Sirius entirely.

"I should have said it sooner," James whispered as if afraid to break the quiet mood of the room.

"You've said it now." Sirius didn't like rehashing the past, especially when it was painful. It had happened, it wasn't fun, but they could move forward now. He didn't want to have James apologising all the time. With that thought in mind, he pushed at James' chest until there was space between them, space in which Sirius could look James in the eye. "It's done, James, you don't need to keep saying sorry for it."

The smile was small but sincere and when James leaned down to kiss him again, Sirius felt something spark between them. James kissed him like he had all the time in the world, there was nothing more important than kissing Sirius right now. When James switched his attention to Sirius’ neck, Sirius let out a laugh which quickly turned into a groan as James nipped at the tendon running down his neck.

He felt his body react to the familiar feel and scent of James on top of him and this time there was no voice in the back of his mind reminding him of how little time he had left. Everything in him was focused on James and it was a heady sensation.

“Merlin, you’re so responsive,” James muttered as Sirius moaned at a kiss to his neck at just the right point. “I could listen to you all day.”

“Not if you’re going to talk all day.” Sirius managed to choke out a laugh before James shifted his hips just so and sent shivers up Sirius’ spine.

“If you’re coherent, I’m not doing my job right.” Sirius could feel James smiling into his neck before James gave a gentle nip.

He left no part of Sirius’ body untouched, alternating light touches with biting kisses, and leaving Sirius a complete wreck by the time he slid into Sirius. Both of them were red-faced and panting as James paused for a moment, resting inside of Sirius.

“Fuck, I missed this,” Sirius groaned as he arched up, pushing James further inside of him. The both of them had been so busy over the past few months that when they had met up there hadn’t been any time for anything more than a quick blowjob.

Like everything James had done this evening, his rhythm started off slow and torturous before getting faster and faster, driving Sirius slowly out of his mind. He felt like he had been so close for hours and now he was there, he couldn’t make himself tip over the edge. The harder he tried, the further it slipped away from him.

“Hey, Sirius, relax.” James was there, suddenly, understanding without explanation what he needed to do. One of his hands was holding Sirius’ hip, helping to support him as he thrust into him, but the other zeroed in on Sirius’ cock, making him go from nowhere near the edge to suddenly right there.

“James,” Sirius managed to say before everything went blurred and distant. Pleasure went through him like lightning and Sirius closed his eyes, wanting to enjoy this feeling for as long as he could. He could hear James chanting his name, and feel his thrusts getting more and more sloppy as he got closer to the edge but it felt like it was just adding to everything. It was too much and not enough at the same time.

Nothing much was said afterwards; they had said it all before. James retrieved his wand to clean them up before stowing it back on the nightstand and curling up next to Sirius. It was easy and comfortable, it felt like he was finally home. They drifted off to sleep with the soft music still playing from the guest room.

 

The next morning Sirius woke up alone in the bed. There was no time to feel panicked or abandoned as a warm, clothed body slipped in right next to him.

“Morning, Sirius.” Lily’s voice had him jackknifing up in bed, feeling more guilty than he had when Dumbledore had looked at him after the ill-thought out Whomping Willow prank. “Woah, relax.”

“Lily, I’m not dressed.” Sirius felt like someone’s maidenly aunt as he said this but the point stood anyway. To wait up to your boyfriend's fiancee in bed with you was not normal. 

Lily was smirking but she didn’t say anything about the slightly high-pitched protest. “I’ll shut my eyes, you put something on and then come back into bed.”

“What? Why? Where’s James?” There was the mad thought that maybe Lily had murdered James this morning, not liking her soon-to-be husband sleeping with someone else the night before the wedding no matter what agreement she gave but it disappeared as quickly as it came, helped by how he could hear James in the kitchen singing to himself.

“James is making the both of us breakfast in bed, you said you wanted to be dressed for it and we have to talk.”

“That doesn’t sound good.” Sirius got dressed anyway, in an old T-shirt of James as well as some tracksuit bottoms he found in the drawer. When Lily opened her eyes, she looked even more amused.

“Those are mine,” she said as she gestured to the trousers Sirius was wearing. “I’m a little jealous that they look better on you than they do me.”

“They’re comfortable.” Sirius climbed back into bed, feeling more than a little awkward as he did so with Lily watching him but refusing to show it. “So, James is bringing us breakfast in bed?”

“This is weird for you, isn’t it.” It wasn’t a question.

“Oh yeah.” There wasn’t much point in hiding that. Strangely enough, admitting it was weird helped Sirius to relax into the pillows behind him and allowed his grin at Lily to be easy and mostly sincere.

“It’s a little weird for me too,” Lily admitted. “I always knew a part of James was going to be yours and there wasn’t going to be anything I could do about it. Loving James meant loving all of him, including the part of him that was focused on you.”

“I get that.” And he did. He was probably the person who understood what Lily was feeling the best. “I wouldn’t make him choose, it wouldn’t have ended well no matter whether he chose me or not.”

“And it ends with everyone unhappy,” Lily continued the thought. Her voice was soft and faraway as she stared blankly at the door. “And there’s no time to be unhappy, especially now.”

Sirius leaned back against the pillows and looked at Lily. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail but strands had escaped, framing her face. She was beautiful but Sirius saw her beauty like she was his sister. He could acknowledge it but there was no attraction. He wondered if it would be easier if there was attraction between them. “You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you?”

“I had to decide whether I would be okay with it when James and I are married. I figure I could be as long as you do one thing.”

“What’s that?”

Lily turned to look at him, her bright green eyes pinning Sirius to the spot. “You be godfather to our first child.”

Sirius’ breath caught. He didn’t know what part to absorb first. “You want me to be - yes. Of course I would.” He would have felt hurt if they hadn’t picked him to be godfather but he didn’t realise they were considering having kids. “Do you think it’s going to be soon?”

“Well, James and I have been talking.” Lily shifted her position so she was facing Sirius more, though her gaze slid away from him so she was looking at the collar of his shirt. “And we thought about what would be our biggest regret, having children or not having children? There is always the possibility that both of us will die but it’s not like we’ll be leaving our hypothetical child alone.”

Sirius reached for her hand, not liking the talk of her and James dying. It was possible, it was possible for any of them, but it wasn’t something he thought about unless it was late at night and sleep was eluding him.

“I would love to be godfather to your hypothetical child, Lily.”

The door swung open, revealing James in all his sleep-rumpled glory with a tray heavily laden with food.

“Breakfast!” He grinned and Sirius was helpless to do anything but smile back.


End file.
